Way back in my first post I dangled the threat of publishing my first screenplay on my blog.

I wrote it in the 4th or 5th grade for the members of my 4-H Horse Club to perform in front of our school. Why in the world I was handed the responsibility of leading a 4-H club when I was 11 is beyond me, but SuzeCate at The Water Witch’s Daughter went to school with me and was in my club, and she seems to think it had something to do with the teachers making sure we were occupied so they could maximize their time in that teacher’s lounge they had hiding behind the auditorium stage. Personally I think it was because I was a depressed kid and somebody got the bright idea that I needed special privilege, special handling, an activity, a challenge. I mean, really. I have no idea.

Whatever the reason, I was the leader of this club and I wrote this play. I read it once, it went over like a lead balloon, and the production closed before it even reached opening night. Yes, SuzeCate, I remember it clearly: “This is dumb and I’m not doing it.” Oh, the pain of that first rejection, as necessary as it is! I can still remember sitting in my parent’s living room, drafting these pages while watching episodes of Charlie’s Angels and Little House on the Prairie. I recall quite clearly writing and then scratching through the word “god” in the phrase, “Oh my god, my god” because, well, I was a preacher’s stepdaughter and that just wasn’t right.

For a first effort it really wasn’t bad. It included a diverse cast, varied locations, stage direction, set design and even educational horse words. But at it’s best it serves as a source of guaranteed gut-wrenching belly laughs each and every time my parents and I pull out the mimeographed pages. And SuzeCate thinks it’s mity mity funny, too. It’s not the first thing I  ever wrote, though. That honor goes to the funeral I wrote for my doll, SuSu, when I was eight. That masterpiece, like the little rubber doll herself, did not survive.

So without further adieu, I present to you, The Horse Colt Farm.

The Horse Colt Farm

Charictars:

• 4 colts
• 1 Thorbred Stallion
• 1 Arab mare
• Stable boy
• Trainer

Note: We will use some special words for horses that we will learn. The words will be underlined. Every horse word will be underlined.

2nd note: We need someone who’s not in horse class to play chars.

Act 1

Place: Newberry colt farms. (Colts are in the ring).

Narrator: This play is a horse play taking place in the Newberry Colt Farms.

Trainer: Geton! Ya! Ya! nice babys. nice babys. Hey Joey! go bring in that Thurobred so I can try him out for the horse show.

Stable boy: Yes sir right away!

2nd colt: Ehh Ehh Tbrrrrrrr

3rd: (Starts bucking)

Trainer: Whoa boy! Whoa boy!

Stable boy: Here’s the horse you asked for. Now what do I do? Take out these colts Two by Two?

Trainer: Yea. please. and be care with Lighting. She has a rock in her frog.

(All colts go off stage. Trainer starts walking horse around ring when curtains close).

Act 2

(No Narrator)

Narrator: This is the exiting part! You’ll agree when you see!

Place: At the stables.

Time: Early in the morning.

Trainer: Quick Joe! Go get that horse and put him in the trailer so we won’t be late.

Stable boy: yes sir!

Trainer: and hurry!

Stable boy: yes sir!

Trainer: Shut up! (sigh)

(Min later in comes Joe with horses).

Trainer: Put him in the truck. (Puts him in). (Gets in himself).

Trainer: off we go!

(They drive off stage and curtains close).

Act 3

Place: Horse Show

(There horse is trotting).

Judge: Snowball & Thrust to the ring please.

(Horses go forward. The Judges mumble.)

Judge: The winner is ……(waits a few seconds)… (Curtains close).

Act 4

Trainer: I’m so glad we won. And now we go to the champions.

Stable boy: yes sirree. Just think the championship, the Kentucky derby, the . . .

Trainer: We’re home finally. Take thrust back and take care of him while I get the colts.

Stable boy: ok. and I check his withers too.

Trainer: Fine Joe Fine

Curtains close

Act 5

Place: Riding Ring

Stable boy: Quick! Sir lady bell is sick

Trainer: How sick?

Stable boy: I don’t know, but mity mity sick.

Trainer: Oh my god my god. Let’s hurry and go to her.

Stable boy: I’m sorta scared to.

Trainer: Oh come on.

(They run off stage. Curtains close).

Act 5

Stable boy: Is she gonna die?

Trainer: I’m not sure. When it comes to swamp fever there’s hardly a hope. best thing to do is Just wait. Common. Let go get some sleep.

Act 6

Time: Early morning

Place: on the ground asleep

Stable boy: Sir! Sir! Somethings wrong with the horse! She’s neighing.

Trainer: Ok! Lets go!

(They rush to her. Trainer checks horse. Minites later.)

Stable boy: Is she gonna be ok.

Trainer: Joe I’m sorry but ……..she’s dead. died 5 minits ago I just couldn’t get enough nerve to tell you.

(Sounds sad).

Stable boy: Oh. well I feel so sad. (He leaves).

Trainer: Wait I’ll go with you.

(They both go off stage).  (Curtains close).

Act 7

Karal: THATS ALL OFF OUR PLAY. We put a lot of work into it to make it just right for you. Now each of us will tell you the car. we played.

THE END